A Tribute to Mothers

I had the incredible chance to spend time with my family over the break. I have been so blessed to have a supportive and loving family. As I see my sisters grow into their current or future roles as mothers and wives, I often ponder the significance my mother has had in my own life and the significance I want my future wife to play in our children’s lives. I think there are many that see the principle of a mother staying home to nurture the children as degrading and sexist. I have a much different view on it though. I truly believe that being a mother is the noblest thing a woman can become. I believe that one of the most powerful ways to change the world is to create a happy, peaceful home in which your family can learn, grow, and flourish without the constant influence of the world as a deterrent. I believe a mother in the home is a huge key to the success of this ideal. I understand very well, from personal experience within my own family, that everyone’s situations vary, and that it is not always possible to have the mom stay home, but as I have reflected on my mother’s selfless effort to always be home when we were there throughout my life, I have realized the profound influence it has had on me. I am deeply grateful for my mother, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, and friends that choose to use all of the divine gifts and talents they have been given to be, and prepare to be righteous, loving mothers. It is truly a gift of altruism beyond compare: to give your life to bless another’s. Yours is the work of shaping the world to be a better place for all. My prayer is that you may receive the reverence and thanks that you deserve. My testimony is that whether in this life or the next, you will. Inspired by the heaven-sent angels who are my mother and four sisters, this poem is a tribute to all those who are, and prepare to be mothers.  

 

A Story Called Mother

She was given a book, pages blank and new

To fill all up with things she’d do

Any story to write, any tale to tell

Oh, how she wanted to write it well

She started out, but what to say?

So many plots, thoughts in array

Others told her what she should write;

All she could do with her special light

They said to write and get some fame

Leave her mark, and make a name

Create a work the world will laud

So you may bow while they applaud

Still others said to seek a crown

And ever be “free” and never “tied down”

To prove that women can be like men

She could do it all with a stroke of her pen

But then the girl recalled a read

That in her heart had planted the seed

Of love and faith and virtue too

Of selflessness and courage true

That book had taught her how to live

And work and serve and how to give

“A book like that will I make mine”

She thought as she wrote her very first line

Instead of a best-seller she wrote a quiet psalm

Instead of CEO she claimed the sacred title—Mom

Instead of shiny trophies she got a hug and kiss

Instead of fleeting fame she made a home of heav’nly bliss

 Sure, there were times when things got tough

Late nights of crying can be real rough

But she kept on writing, generations to bless

And performed her mission with righteousness

She did not receive worldly praise

Or “bring home the bacon” or earn a raise

But she did shape a precious soul

And in its life play a starring role

It sometimes seemed a vain pursuit

All her effort, far too minute

But then a voice came from above

He said, “I thank you for your love”

“No other work’s worthy of thee

This is the noblest thing to be

And so this call I entrust to you

For this is what I’d have you do”

Though untrained eyes may read her book

And denigrate with a puzzled look,

“So much talent was wasted here

On a book so plain and so austere!”

But those who knew the author best

Will praise the book and call it blessed

For their lives were products of her work

That priceless gift that many shirk

Our life is a book for us to write

And oh, what a sweet and wondrous sight

To see a story written for another

A treasured story entitled Mother

Finals

This was it. This would be the battle to end it all. He walked in armed with only a calculator and his trusty black Bic mechanical pencil with a blue, squishy grip. Nourished only moments earlier with a meager maple bar and cherry fritter, this crusader would have to endure the frightful skirmish bereft of adequate sustenance. The enemy had presented a new tactic that would give them the advantage— the battle field would be a 3 foot by 2 foot area in which there was only a small plank of wood upon which to work. He would have to fit his backpack, sweatshirt, test, bubble answer sheet, calculator, and three sheets of scratch paper all in this confined space. The conflict would not end swiftly, for this 63 question monster was not going down without a fight. Though the foe delivered blow after devastating blow of scientific trivia, the ardent, young academic warrior still stood undaunted, determined not to give up. After five brutal hours and the reception of many wounds, the wearied soldier limped from the battlefield with as much pride as he could muster and accepted the 66% branded upon his four months of effort and preparation. Though he would retain many scars from this struggle for victory in the face of defeat, they would serve as constant reminders to the brave fledgling of the lessons learned during this cold and bitter war with his relentless opponent—chemistry.

                

              Okay, this description of my chemistry final may be slightly melodramatic, but in some ways I feel like it depicts how I feel fairly accurately. I received my first ever “B” in chemistry this last semester, and although it has been a flesh wound to the good ole “4.0” GPA, I feel that the Lord has made me into a better, stronger person because of it.  I feel indebted to chemistry, for it was the catalyst that set me on my journey to find what I truly want to do in my life—teach. It has served as a testing ground for my character: to see if I would give up or continue to try my best even when things weren’t going my way.  I also believe that chemistry was a road sign, sent from heaven to help me know that the road I was going down wasn’t for me. The experience as a whole has increased my testimony that God loves and cares for us, and will guide us in our lives if we but listen.

        

             Going into the last week of school (finals week), I was once again having a hard time finding motivation to put effort into studying for, well, any of my finals, but particularly chemistry. I went heavenward for help and almost immediately I felt these words written on the blackboard of my mind: “I am not going to school for a grade; I am going to be a better disciple of Christ.” I once again felt the motivational power that the atonement can have in our lives. The love that Christ’s pure, omnipotent love invokes inside my heart, can motivate me and give me strength to do things even after my natural capacities are near exhausted. Once this paradigm shift occurred, a power and determination to succeed surged into every aspect of my life like a rushing river.  Think of the Savior after He suffered the sting of betrayal, the horror of Gethsemane, the humiliation of the mock trial, the nefariousness of His torture, and the bitterness of denial by His closest friends; don’t you think He would be tired? What gave Him the strength to endure His heavy cross through the angry throng of people? Why didn’t He give up? No one would be able to blame Him. He didn’t deserve this. Why didn’t the pain, fatigue, and heartache drive Him to just say, “Enough!” and relieve Himself of the agony? No one in all the history of the world had ever felt that tired before, so why didn’t He stop?

            

            I am the reason. Yes, you are also the reason, but just to make it a little more personal, I want to focus on me for a minute. As miniscule as my trials are, and I readily admit they are very small compared to many, Christ knew that I would be tired one day too. He knew that I was going to need some help staying motivated so I could at least swing a “B” in chemistry. He knew that I was going to need Him to understand what I felt like in Japan, when Japanese just seemed too hard to learn. When I was squirming in pain on my bed the first time I got kidney stones, Jesus knew that I was going to need someone to be there by my side to comfort me. That is why He didn’t give up; He loved me that much!   

And so it is with each of us. He descended below all things because He knew that we each, in our own personal way, would need Him. They say that Christ’s atonement was a personal one, and I believe that; I know it. Do you think Christ would have still suffered through all He did if you were the only one He was doing it for? What if no one else except you accepted God’s plan in the beginning? Would Christ still have offered to come down to earth and save you? The answer is yes.  How is that for personal? How is that for intimate? As long as there is at least one person to save, our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ will do all that They can to bring us home to Him. My testimony is that They loved, and still love us that much.  I feel that love every single day. Truly,

“in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

“Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:37-39).   

                I know that is true.

             

   This last semester, I went to the funeral of a man who had been a senior missionary in our mission. He was an extraordinary man with a pure heart from which you could feel goodness radiating. I learned so much about the meaning of life and what is important while I listened to the service. Not one thing was said about his wealth, the prestige he possessed in the world, or any of the other things that sometimes unfortunately become important in our lives. They did, though, talk about the endless love he had for his family, his faithfulness and devotion to the Lord, and the countless acts of service he had performed throughout his life. This stalwart man had lived a rich life in the eyes of God and his family, and as I sat contemplating it all I felt assured that his treasures in heaven were not a few. Later on, I was pondering the birth of Christ and asked myself the question that seemed to arbitrarily pop into my mind: “Why did Christ come to earth?” That was an easy one to answer. I had heard it a thousand times before: He came to provide the way, that I might live. Then I thought about that word “live.” I had always associated that word to the resurrection and the life after we die. I believe that is one meaning of the word, but I started to think about it a little differently. I started to think about what it truly means to “live” in the now. One definition of the word suggests having a full and fulfilling life. Christ also provided the way for us to do that as well. He set the perfect example of living an altruistic life; full of gratitude, hope, faith, service, love, and sacrifice. Then, through His atonement, our Savior provided the divine help we would all need to emulate His life. Giving our lives in service to others is not always easy, at least for me, but as I strive to rely on the grace God willingly provides, I am able to find opportunities to give of myself and feel the joy of truly “living.” I know that our lives mean little if we only live for ourselves. That is why I am so grateful for a Redeemer who has the power to help me become like Him. I am constantly overwhelmed with gratitude and love for the incredible people that fill my life. They are constant reminders that this life is about people and the relationships we make with them.    

So what did I learn during the fall semester of 2011, at Brigham Young University? Well, although I learned much about molecular orbitals, hyperbolas, and Japanese business etiquette, the greatest lesson I learned is one that God teaches me time and time again: “whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day,” for, “I have been supported under trails and troubles of every kind, yea, and in all manner of afflictions; yea, God has delivered me from prison, and from bonds, and from death; yea, and I do put my trust in him, and he will still deliver me” (Alma 36:3,27). 

            I don’t know what the next semester will hold for me, but I am excited to meet new challenges and learn new lessons. “I believe in Christ, so come what may” (“I Believe in Christ,” Hymn 134).

A Life That is Faithful, A Life That is True

              I have had an incredible week! I woke up this morning with so much gratitude in my heart. I had so many opportunities to become better and learn from the people around me. I made new friends and was able to see friends I hadn’t seen in a really long time (Welcome home Max!). I have been thinking a lot about the people the Lord puts in our lives and why He does it. I have a strong conviction that all the people the Lord puts in our lives are meant to teach us something. There have been so many people in my life who have helped me get to where I am today, and continue to help me become all that I want to become. They are tender mercies from a Father in Heaven that loves me. At the end of my mission, I wrote a poem that stands as my pledge to all those who have made me who I am. I had always struggled with how I would ever repay all those that had done so much for me until one day I realized the most powerful way to show my gratitude: live a life that honors all that they taught me. With that feeling in my heart, I wrote the following:

Faithful and True

I’ve often thought what I could give

To you who taught me how to live

From parents, leaders, teachers, friends

To God himself, my thanks extends

You taught me courage, strength, and love

As though directly from above

Faith and hope and service too

How to be faithful, how to be true

Your words and actions, my course’s guide

And never failing at my side

You’ve shaped my life that I may be

All that the Lord desires of me

You gave up time and energy

That my mentor you could be

A northern star throughout my life

Ever constant through trouble and strife

How can I repay sacrifice?

When such a gift is without  price,

Then in my heart comes what I could give,

“All my love through the way I live”

And so I promise you my all

To rise and stand even if I fall

To firmly pursue the given course

Making love my driving force

To bless and rescue all in reach

And give to all that me beseech

To do my duty and fulfill my part

That I might gain a shepherd’s heart

To lose my life to save a soul,

Lift a heart, and make one whole

To cast off Satan’s wicked bands

That on earth I can be Christ’s hands

To be a man who gives his life

For the happiness of child and wife

With virtue, kindness, and gentle care

I’ll lead my family through earnest prayer

Yes, I cannot give you gifts of gold

Nor could such things my real love hold

So my gift of thanks to you

Is a life that is faithful, a life that is true

I am so grateful for all the angels in my life who take the shape of parents, sisters, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, friends, coaches, leaders, and teachers. All have made an indelible impression upon my life. Thank you. I promise to honor this pledge to each one of you.

Daily Love

Life is such a great teacher. I am so grateful for the daily struggles it affords us and the things we can learn from the Lord as we allow Him to teach us. I decided to update my blog with excerpts from my journal entries of the last few days. I think they sum up nicely, the things I have been learning.

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October 25, 2011

                I feel like I am drowning. I feel the necessity of staying on top of the water to stay alive, but feel like I don’t have the power to do so. I took my chemistry test today and spent three and a half hours in the testing center battling it out. I feel like I studied decently well, although perhaps perfunctorily. I walked down the stairway of freedom that leads out of the testing center with anticipation of a B or B-. To my chagrin, I saw the figure 69% looming next to my student number. Oh no!  I actually feel okay about it. I tried my best and that is what I got. I am going to learn from it and press forward. I have a strange feeling right now though. I am not motivated. I got home tonight and knew that I had chemistry homework to do and that I had to have it done by 12:00 am. Despite that fact, I all I wanted to do was go get a two for one milkshake at Sammy’s. I tried to persuade Caplin to go with me but to no avail, so I texted Jenny in our ward and took her. I didn’t get home until around 9:00, which still gave me three hours to finish the homework. When I sat down to do it though, I felt like I was staring at the Japanese Book of Mormon for the first time in the MTC—all I saw and read was gibberish. My roommate helped me with a few problems, but he had his own homework to do. I then started to get sleepy, and with no desire to finish the assignment, I succumbed to the impending slumber. The truth is I just don’t care about chemistry. I know that real learners are hungry to learn about whatever there is to learn about, but I just don’t enjoy it and I am not going to hide it. The stark reality though, is that I am in the class and I can’t drop it now. I just don’t get it and the desire to understand it is waning to say the least. I need some guidance and strength that I know the Savior can give me. I can’t do this by myself or by my own strength. I also have questions about grace. We learned that in the strength and power of Christ that we can literally do anything. I truly believe and received a witness that that is true. Without Christ, I can do nothing. I wonder then, if I don’t do very well in chemistry, does that mean that I didn’t rely of the Lord enough? Does it mean that I didn’t do my part? I sometimes get confused about some of these challenging problems.

October 26, 2011

“That’s right, because we would rather fail, than give up.” These are words that really taught me a lot about doing my best no matter what the result was. I heard them from a missionary (Elder Brett Stevenson) whose dad was a mission president in Nagoya Japan and is now a seventy. Elder Packer had come to his mission to tour it and asked him the question,

“If your mission didn’t have one baptism for a whole year, would you give up?”

Elder Stevenson then replied,

 “No, I would not.”

That is when Elder Packer quipped,

“That is right, because we would rather fail than give up.”

I was about to sit down and try and finish up some homework before I went to my next class, when I saw a Book of Mormon sitting on the coffee table. I picked it up and asked for the Lord’s guidance in where I should read. I read a few versus and then the words of Elder Packer came into my mind with great power and love. The Lord re-taught me an important lesson that I learned on my mission: you cannot measure your success solely on the numbers (or grades) your effort produces. I felt the Lord’s love envelop me and I felt, once again, the incredible and tender daily mercy the Lord pours down upon me. I see His loving hand in all that I do and everywhere I go. The Lord blessed me with the motivation I needed to press forward and continue to give my all.

 God answers prayers.

October 28, 2011

                I have already learned much today and have felt God’s love in great measure. I woke up early and studied. I prayed for guidance and understanding when it comes to the trials and experiences I am facing right now. I was led by the Spirit to a talk given by Elder Maxwell about carrying our crosses. I learned that our lives will most likely always be difficult. When I say difficult, I do not mean miserable, but I do mean stretching. If this life is meant to make us like God and His Son, then it better make us stretch and grow because all “have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” If God is going to make me a king and a fellow heir with Christ, then I better be prepared to take on the training involved. It can’t be easy, because I highly doubt that being a God is an easy job. Applying what I have learned to my current situation, I realized that chemistry and all the other classes are supposed to be hard for me. Dating isn’t supposed to be easy all the time. If it was, I would never be able to become the person that God wanted me to become. That is why it is so important to never give up. If we did, God couldn’t help us anymore. As long as we are doing all we can, God will strengthen and teach us. Christ had to wade through more sorrow, pain, anguish, and suffering than anyone before or since. If anyone ever had an excuse to quit, it was Him. Yet, in John we learn that “[Christ] bearing his cross went forth.” Surely He who carried the burden of us all, is willing and able to help us carry our crosses, but we too must press forward doing the best we can. I testify that is the truth.

                I gave a trusted teacher a call today and asked Him some questions about grace that I have been struggling with. I have wondered, “If Christ can do anything, then why do I still fail at times even though I am trying to rely on Him?” I wonder if maybe I am not really relying on Him enough, or if I just need to learn a lesson from Him. From what I learned on my mission, I feel much more inclined to believe the latter of my two inferences. As I talked to this caring mentor, he confirmed my feelings and told me that I have a great light within me and that I needed to put my trust in that light. The Spirit will not allow me to fail or go amiss when I am sincerely trying to do what is right in my life. What kind of father or God would do that? Certainly, not the kind of Father and God I know my Heavenly Father to be. I truly have no reason to ever fret or worry. Worry is a lack of faith and a bitter fruit of doubt.  “Why should this anxious load press down [my] weary mind?” For, I can “haste to my Heavenly Father’s throne and sweet refreshment find. His goodness stands approved, unchanged from day to day.” I will “drop [my] burdens at His feet and bear a song away.” I am worthy and I am clean. God is pleased with my life. He is aware of me and has a great plan for my life. I will do much good in my life. I will accomplish great things. I will be an instrument in God’s hands. I have so much hope for my future because I know that Christ lives! He lives as a resurrected, perfect being; filled with all mercy, compassion, kindness and wisdom. I trust in Him. I am His and He is mine. As long as I know that He lives, I know that all will be well and right in the end.

October 29, 2011

                I realized this morning that I have been being scared to fail lately; but I have learned that it is not bad to fail, as long as you know that you are doing the best that you really can. In those times, God just may have a different plan for you or a different lesson for you to learn. How could we ever learn of Christ’s power to pick us up if we never fell down? Therefore, I hereby relinquish all fear of failing, in the knowledge that if I am doing my best, the Lord will pick me up and teach me from that failure. Truly, “all things work together for good to them that love God.”  

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                Needless to say, I feel Heavenly Father’s love every single day. I know that He is mindful of all that we do and wants to be a part of all that we undertake. I am so imperfect. I fall short every day. Yet, I know that through Christ’s love and power I can do anything. I have learned though, that that doesn’t mean that we will never fail in life; but it does mean that when we fall, we don’t have to let it keep us from getting back up. If we rely on Christ, He will pick us up, brush us off, and set us back on our way to becoming all that we can become.